The Top 7 Songs About Cedric

[Thank you for visiting The Wrock Snob and reading this article! I’d love for you to jump right into the reviewy goodness, but first there is some unfortunate business to take care of. It is not in my nature to tell you specifically what or what not to buy and who to support – I tell you what I thought about an album, and if my tastes seem to align with yours, you might want to heed my suggestions. However, I must take this time to personally exhort that you do not monetarily support the bands The Remus Lupins or Ministry of Magic. The full reasons are unsettling and possibly triggering, so please proceed with caution, but if you want the full details click here. Simply put, it has been revealed that certain member/s of both bands did destructive, upsetting, and highly problematic things. While I can see the value of reviewing art no matter what the artist did on a grand society-level scale, I cannot morally allow myself to condone the financial support of these monsters, nonetheless exhorting people to do so. Now it is entirely possible this copypasta’d retroactive warning was placed on a negative review, making this sidebar somewhat moot, but I still feel it necessary to make these matters clear. Again, for full details and rumination click here, otherwise, please enjoy the article.]

Word up.   Again, no partially witty but needlessly long intro this time, we’re gonna jump right in!

7. “Cedric” – The Moaning Myrtles

“Cedric” is a good place to start, since it’s a solid Cedric song that covers all the bases – he’s dead, he was a Hufflepuff, he was hot, and now he’s Edward (the sullen-Cullen rhyme is particularly clever).  There are a few lines that still make me giggle, and the small do-wop section is nice.  All in all, a good, solid Cedric song, especially if you don’t want to hear chorus after chorus about how brave and good and noble and water-soluble he was.

6. “Pensieve Diggory” – Ministry of Magic

LE GASP!  A Ministry of Magic song?  On THIS site?  Contrary to popular belief, I do like MoM, I just absolutely despised their latest album, that’s all.  I mean, you can be a giant Beatles fan but still hate… um… well, Rubber Soul was only okay, but it did have “Drive My Car”… okay, so bad example, but the point is, I do like some MoM songs.  Now, “Pensieve Diggory” is not my favorite MoM song, and a lot of that is I just have a natural aversion to any Cedric song that treats the subject matter with any shred of respect.  But despite not having particularly unique or engaging (but by no means bad) lyrics, the lads’ voices are on key as always, and it’s a pretty catchy song.  Sure, there are far catchier on The Triwizard LP, but hey, it’s still pretty damn catchy, both chorus and verses alike.  It is interesting, listening to this song for the first time in awhile, how the electronic elements seem, well, a bit backwards, a bit underdeveloped.  This really underscores the big leap MoM made musically in Goodbye Privet Drive, which had a much more “full” sound (and Upward and Onward‘s sound was too full, often a musical jumble or mess).  I mean, for the verses, this song just has the voices, a laid back drum section, and some simple synth organ stabs.  This doesn’t make it bad or anything, but it’s interesting when you compare it to, say, “Goodbye Privet Drive”, with it’s driving (sorry) drum section, vocal harmonies, an acoustic guitar section, AND a synth section that underpins the whole song and really fills up all of the aural patches, making it a very dense and meaty song.

5. “Remember Cedric” – The Remus Lupins

Does anyone remember the old Remus Lupins site?  The one with the fancy Flash interface, and the audio player that played the six songs from Spells From A Broken Wand that didn’t suck?  Well, when I was first discovering wizard rock, I tended to be a bit shallow in my interests – I basically listened to Harry and the Potters, and The Remus Lupins, and that was about it.  Instead of searching out more bands, I just played their music over, and over, and over…  I once spent a solid three hours playing the Philosopher’s Stone computer game while the Remus Lupins website looped those six songs continuously.  The purpose of this story is to illustrate why I haven’t listened to classic TRL in awhile – because I binged on it back in the day and I still haven’t quite gotten rid of the stomachache.  I mean, I made myself sick of “Looking For Trouble”, for His Noodliness‘ sake!  However, forcing myself to listen to it again, I do have to admit that it is a really well done song.  Simple, but dripping in atmosphere, it is definitely the best of the “serious” Cedric songs.

4. “Give It Up” – Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls

“Give It Up” is from the charity comp Siriusly Smiling, which you need to get right now if you don’t already own it, because it is definitely the best non-holiday charity comp ever made, and possibly the best charity comp, period.  Maaaaaaaaaaybe.  But anyway, “Give It Up” is lyrically a very interesting Cedric song, not the least of which because it’s the only song on this list that is from Cedric’s POV, and, besides a couple Cedric Diggorys songs, one of the only wizard rock songs I know of, period, that are from Cedric’s POV.  What’s more interesting than just the point of view is what Cedric’s point of view actually is – mildly miffed.  A lot of this is carried by Christian’s voicework, because, if the lyrics were sung a different way, they’d be very angry indeed.  The real humour in this song lies in how laid-back lines like “But now it’s over / Cuz I’m looking at my own self lying on the ground / Motherfucker I’m so angry that I’m dead / Just when I was about to go all the way in bed” are sung.  Yes, the lyrics themselves are funny, but the way they are sung exponentially increases the humour factor.  On top of that, it’s just a fun song with a very sing-alongable chorus and outro, plus, the slight Jamaican twist to things (steel guitar, organ, etc.) adds to overall fun of the song, making it a very singeable, very groovable, and very very fun song about being murdered for no other reason than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

3. “Hufflepuff Sandwich Wrap” – The Blibbering Humdingers

So, remember when I reviewed Wizard Rock Made Me Crap My Pants and I said that this song was the second best song about Cedric ever made?  I lied.  I still really like the song, but the song lost a couple points because it’s as much about Cho and Mariette as it is about Cedric, and while it’s still hilarious and fun, I decided the top two spots should be for songs that actually mention his name.  If you want to read more detailed analysis of the song, head over to my review of it.  I’m sorry, but I’m not gonna review the same song twice.

2. “Cedric Had It Coming” – The Whomping Willows

The very first time I ever heard the Whomping Willows was live, in a tiny, little-known bookstore that nobody has ever heard of, and while I did appreciate the inclusionary aspects of the “House of Awesome Theme Song”, this is the first song that made me laugh, and really start paying attention.  Plus, I was hearing this during the middle of my binging on classic TRL, and thus, I’d only experienced serious Cedric songs up till this point, so it was a bit revolutionary to me.  And the song is damned funny, and the playing around with knowledge of thematic tropes and cliches sort of foreshadows the meta-ness to later become a staple of Matt’s songwriting (really that whole album is very interesting, lyrically, as a precursor for things to come, especially with songs like “Philadelphia Rocks” and “My Favourite Band”).

1. “Battle Cedric Diggory” – The Swedish Shortsnouts

The Swedish Shortsnouts first came to my attention in late 2008 for their song “Warner Bros. Sucks”, which had oookaaaaayyyy verses, but a pretty fun chorus.  However, they completely dropped off my radar until their music video for this song was featured on WrockWay.  If you haven’t yet watched the video, I encourage you to do so, immediately below.  If you already have, watch it again!

I was immediately charmed, both by the excellently done music video (it’s really a shame it won’t win the WRPCA this year, for obvious reasons), and by the song itself, which has catchy verses and a catchier chorus, has the obligatory Twilight reference but didn’t overplay it, is generally well played and well sung, and it’s a song about Cedric from the point of view of the freakin’ dragon!  I especially love that even a dragon doesn’t really want to harm Cedric, but would totally go after Harry, cuz that guy’s a dick.  And while this article is about the song, I do have to go back to how awesome the music video is.  There’s a lot of love here, a lot of work, and a lot of really cool post-production effort that goes above and beyond (I’m still trying to figure out how exactly they shot the apparation scene – multiple overlapping fades, I’m assuming, but not sure), and the pretty scenery doesn’t hurt either.  I’m hoping that this will be the year Sweden will finally get some love in the International Band WRPCAs, instead of it always being England and Oliver Boyd.  Nothing against English and Canadian wrock, but there’s a lot of talent in bands in other countries (Salemm Rock, Swedish bands, Australian bands, etc.), and it’d be nice to see them recognized too.  Maybe we could have a Non-Commonwealth or Past Members Of The Commonwealth category, and all the Australian bands could move to Lichtenstein?

So, you may be wondering why this list only has 7 entries instead of the usual 10.  Well, firstly, the only reason why we have top ten lists is because humans like nice, big, round numbers that are multiples of 10, because we are shamefully self-obsessed, and still haven’t quite gotten over the fact that we have ten digits for each pair of appendages.  Secondly, I’m a lazy fuck.  Thirdly, 7 is an important number in the HP series, so…  And fourthly, this was originally going to be a double pack, with the top 7 Cedric songs AND the top 7 Cho songs, but I’ve decided that the Cho section of things will be next week, especially since I’m going to be stretching myself a bit thin in the run up to Wrockstock, afterward I’ll have enough material to make an entire year’s worth of articles, probably.  The schedule for next week will be the Cho list, a review of Whompy Teaches The Proper Use Of An Exclamation Point, and something else.  Maybe another ET on gender roles in wrock, maybe another edition of “Whatever The Hell This Is”, maybe a large drawing of a reproductive organ of some sort, I’ll play this one by ear.

See you on… Monday?  Maybe?  Oh, and as always, I’d love to hear your feedback, and which songs you would have included or excised.  Wrock Snob out.


14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. KateKintail
    Oct 24, 2010 @ 17:28:03

    Whoohoo! *stops poking you to do a top 10 Cedric song list*

    #6- That whisper of “I’m sorry” before the first chorus totally makes the song for me. It’s the little details like that in arrangements that I really appreciate.

    #5- Thinking back to my first TRL concert years ago… and sitting on the floor right in front of Alex as he went acoustic campfire style in the middle of his set… listening to that song… the memory makes me go to a happy place… and cry. Poor Ced.

    #4- Love it! And t really is quite singable, so I always instinctively include it when I make mixes for events. And then I remember that there are some words/subjects in the song not appropriate for the young ones in my group. It’s always painful to take the song off a playlist, but it gets stuck in my head for the rest of the day anyway so it’s all good. I also really appreciate hearing a song from Cedric’s point of view. You don’t get that often. (No offense to the Cedric Diggorys… loud, hard rock/thrash just is not my style of music)

    #1- Thanks for another excuse to watch that video! 🙂

    Great list. Thrilled to see such a good list of songs about my favorite Hufflepuff 🙂

    And I look forward to the review of Wizard Party Forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I’m an exclamation point whore, sorry; can’t get enough of them) I haven’t bought it yet… I know I probably should. But there are some Whompy songs I LOVE and others I feel ess passionate about. But I’ve seen/heard several of the songs from that album performed live 4 or 5 times this summer… and I’ve liked them a lot. Should I wait for your review or go ahead and buy it so I will be able to agree/disagree with your review when it’s up?


    • wrocksnob
      Oct 24, 2010 @ 17:35:44

      Well, if you’re going to be seeing Whompy soon, and before I have the review up, take a chance and buy it. If not, then, well, buy it if you want to, so you can experience the album untainted by someone else’s opinion, but if you want assurance that you’re getting a solid amount of bang for your back, or to not buy it, or whatever, depending on my review, then wait. Thanks for the feedback!


      • KateKintail
        Oct 24, 2010 @ 18:17:30

        I saw him last week (exactly last week, to the minute) when the Star Won’t Go Out bands hit my hometown on tour. I won’t see him again until the New York Wizard Rock Festival next month. But I’m all about buying albums on iTunes. Hmmm. To buy or not to buy–that is the question…


        • KateKintail
          Oct 25, 2010 @ 11:24:13

          Internal debate ended. I finally bought it.

          Also, dancing horse man background. ACK. That is all.


  2. ladysugarquill
    Oct 24, 2010 @ 18:45:48

    Great article, I really liked it. Also, OMG somebody knows about Salemm Rock! I don’t like them specially, but yeah, first (or so) WRock band in Spanish, gotta support them 🙂


  3. Arodhwen
    Oct 24, 2010 @ 22:44:45

    Agree with KateKintail about the whisper. I got chills the first time I heard it. (Almost typo’ed “I got childs.” THAT would be pretty creepy.)

    On a side note… It’s really hard to read the text (without highlighting it) while it’s… on top of bacon. Or really anything that isn’t a solid color. (Just in case you were looking for feedback on the new layout.)


    • wrocksnob
      Oct 24, 2010 @ 23:10:44

      I will make a post and announce on twitter when I have a new layout. Unfortunately, WordPress doesn’t have a dynamic preview option or anything, so this is what I’m doing. Also, I’m failing. Also also, I’m partially failing purposely for comedic effect, and partially just flat out failing.


  4. molly
    Oct 26, 2010 @ 14:48:49

    Nice job highlighting the Swedish Shortsnouts–the video really is top-notch. Swedish wizard rock deserves more attention!


  5. badger666
    Oct 27, 2010 @ 10:46:57

    Can I add “Eulogy, Book IV” by Philosopherock to the list? It’s another awesome humorous Cedric song and a great filk as well (of Avril Lavigne’s “Skater Boy,” in case anyone cares). You should check it out.


  6. PK9
    Oct 28, 2010 @ 04:35:32

    This list is severely lacking Roonil Wazlib’s “My Mirror is My Best Friend”


  7. Brad Ausrotas
    Oct 28, 2010 @ 05:08:35

    DEAREST SNOB, you got this thing bang-fucking-on in two regards:

    1) Remember Cedric is basically my favourite ‘intense’ song about Cedric ever. The Spells version is amazing (that whole album actually kicks ass- it’s literally one of my favourite albums ever, and I think I’m going to do a ‘Pedia article soon illustrating why), and Remember Cedric is definitely no exception to that. The version at Leakycon with Toby Karlin beasting the shit out of the sax is possibly my favourite version I’ve ever heard, though. (self video plug:

    And then Whompy. I’m pretty sure that Cedric Diggory Had it Coming was the second or third song thaty Matt played in his set at Prophecy and thus it was the second or third wrock song that I’d ever heard. And you’re absolutely right- it’s the one that grabs your attention and makes you laugh, makes you strain your ears to try and catch all of the lyrics. Hm, maybe that was just a Prophecy thing… ANYWAY, spot on good sir, spot on.


  8. Trackback: Top 5 Wizard Rock Music Videos | The Wrock Snob

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