Magic Is Might, Part 2

[Thank you for visiting The Wrock Snob and reading this article! I’d love for you to jump right into the reviewy goodness, but first there is some unfortunate business to take care of. It is not in my nature to tell you specifically what or what not to buy and who to support – I tell you what I thought about an album, and if my tastes seem to align with yours, you might want to heed my suggestions. However, I must take this time to personally exhort that you do not monetarily support the bands The Remus Lupins or Ministry of Magic. The full reasons are unsettling and possibly triggering, so please proceed with caution, but if you want the full details click here. Simply put, it has been revealed that certain member/s of both bands did destructive, upsetting, and highly problematic things. While I can see the value of reviewing art no matter what the artist did on a grand society-level scale, I cannot morally allow myself to condone the financial support of these monsters, nonetheless exhorting people to do so. Now it is entirely possible this copypasta’d retroactive warning was placed on a negative review, making this sidebar somewhat moot, but I still feel it necessary to make these matters clear. Again, for full details and rumination click here, otherwise, please enjoy the article.]

This yawning chasm, this Frak Fraco portraitscape that stretches night-drenched like the balding skull of God lay yet unmarked by the Dark and though it does stir us and dons the great Jacket of My Evening I find it empty and with little to write about do stoke the flames of Blood Meridian for a longish opening sentence. If this album were a videogame it would be Shadow of the Colossus without the Colossi to cast shadows or be bosses to fight and if it were a movie it would be Sergio Leone’s without the close-ups or the guns blasting and striking exclamation points of smoke. If it were a smoothie it would contain only one fruit, and that fruit would be grape juice, which I don’t really mean as an insult because grape juice is my favorite juice but grape juice isn’t a smoothie! it’s just a juice. Smoothies should contain several types of fresh fruit of contrasting seed-age and flavor profile and be swirled through with a scoop of chilly ice and about a pint of an interesting juice like papaya or guava or white grapefruit and then be blended for like thirty seconds and topped with whipped cream. They can’t just be juice.

Similarly, remote control cars should always have batteries not just in the car but in the remote control, because even if the car is powered it needs a remote control to tell it how to use that power. If batteries of the appropriate size are placed in both units the car is remotely controllable and the user can enjoy the dervish-like speed and rascally cornering that accompanies a good remote control car but sadly if even a single battery is missing or even fitted incorrectly the user may appear to look like an oaf feebly pushing levers. Not that I much mind frivolity or purposeless pressing of buttons. I will pick through the bones of any record upon my desk and pontificate wildly like a televangelist. Clearly much of this is circumlocution but to review such a piffle though pretty and quite nice is not an activity it is an exercise in abject futility as absurd as Sisyphus and his infernal boulder. One must imagine Sisyphus putting on Split Seven Ways instead. I do believe that music is great and Ministry of Magic’s music occasionally reminds me of the greatness of some music and I believe that music is like a vast glassy lake into which the listener must gaze and often that listener finds his or her own reflection distorted perhaps but made new and so truer but in the case of this album all I see is the crystal azure sky above and we all know that the sky is stupid.

And so if farting is just pooping a cloud and music is what happens when speakers poop tiny earthquakes then Magic Is Might doesn’t poop. And by this I don’t mean that it is constipated and deep within its bowels there grows a backed-up train of poo ready to be vomited toiletward but that it simply doesn’t poop, has never pooped and doesn’t understand the process fundamentally and why other people must constantly retire to the bathroom to make such wretched stench. It has never looked or thought about it but if it checked it would find no hole between its legs waiting to release such excretion, merely skin as smooth as the small of its back. Which is just as well, really, and it would probably be nice to never have to go potty, but for my own part I could never be friends with someone who has never squeezed out a big wet shit.

Oh, and there are a few bits where they rip off whole melodies from other artists, and if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s plagiarism.  See you tomorrah for an actual real review with words I myself wrote. Wrock Snob out.


22 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. whatsername
    Jan 04, 2011 @ 21:32:02

    If it were a smoothie it would contain only one fruit, and that fruit would be grape juice

    Is it weird that I know EXACTLY what you mean by this?


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  3. Voldemark
    Jan 04, 2011 @ 22:38:19

    Hey man! Let me say first that I appreciate what you do! However much I may disagree with you I think you’re articulate, rhetorically effective, and kind of fun to read. For that you’ve got my respect. But I saw something here just before going to bed that has made it impossible to sleep. You accuse the guys of plagiarism. In so doing you effectively impugn their character. Some thoughts about why you didn’t like the songs I can deal with, defamation of my best friends I can’t. You’re going too far. You’d better have some serious evidence of compositional dependence (not just “sounds like it here and there” stuff) if you want to avoid being guilty of libelling.


    • wrocksnob
      Jan 04, 2011 @ 23:20:42

      1. Thanks for your compliments.
      2. Did you click on that link embedded in the word “plagiarism”? It may elucidate things somewhat. I was pretty much referring mostly to myself, but I can understand entirely why you would think I was strongly accusing MoM of something.
      3. In tomorrow’s article, I expand upon the “plagiarism” thing a bit, but I really don’t mean to accuse MoM of plagiarism. I accuse MYSELF of plagiarism, definitely, and MoM ripping off Green Day a bit, definitely, but nothing too extreme, and definitely did not mean to impugn anyone’s character. Also, “ripping off whole melodies” was a tad strong, I admit, but again, I’ll get into that a bit more tomorrow, and quite a bit more on Friday’s article. I was really not trying to get anything too strong in there – I mostly did it because it was a nice and easy transition into linking to the Sun Giant review without it being random. I did not mean to offend.


      • wrocknquidditch
        Feb 16, 2011 @ 17:38:12

        Re: Plagiarism

        Sounds like you could use the services of a forensic musicologist…

        Which, to my disappointment, is not as exciting as it sounds (and deals with identifying musical plagiarism when royalties are concerned…instead of digging up the bones of dead composers for DNA samples…or swabbing the trumpets left at crime scenes where they have clearly been used to aurally bludgeon someone)…

        But…lol. Sometimes you make me want to send cookies and snuggles to MoM.


  4. Russ
    Jan 05, 2011 @ 04:02:41

    I kind of wish I hadn’t read that plagiarism link. Now I feel like reading the entire article was a waste of my time.

    Also, I agree with Mark. That last paragraph does come off sounding like you’re accusing them of legitimately ripping off other artists, which isn’t cool, even if meant as a joke.


    • wrocksnob
      Jan 05, 2011 @ 07:52:25

      Hmmm. For the first thing, I do understand, but hey, filler is filler, and more people need to know about that review. Secondly, while I wasn’t trying to accuse them of plagiarism, but I totally understand how people got that and that’s my bad, there are bits in “Harry Potter Is Dead” that completely rip off Green Day’s “21 Guns”. But that’s all I’m accusing them of – I’m not saying it to impugn their characters or anything. Maybe it’s different for an artist, but the way I see it, musically speaking, “plagiarism” isn’t that big of a deal. Firstly, like John Williams said – “Good composers compose. Great composers steal.” (just look at how many times he rips off Tchaikovsky) But secondly, the lines between direct parody and homage and even unintentional similarities are very blurry, and moreover – I don’t really have a problem with any of them. There ARE only so many notes, and technically, a finite number of possibilities for making melodies (if you stay withing the pitch range recognizable by human ears, that is)… Plus, I see it more of an fun game, or an interesting observation when I see people ripping off other people musically, and despite the connotation of the word, I don’t mean it wholly negatively – look at my Blibbering Humdingers review, specifically “Grey Underwear”, for examps. Plus, there are songs that I love that are very dependent on other people’s melodies, but that doesn’t mean I love them any less, it’s just interesting to see where inspiration is drawn (plus, there’s a good chance the person I think is being stolen from originally stole part of that from somewhere, and etc.) For example, Diagon Alley’s AMAZING “Ollivander’s” rips off the work of Yasunori Mitsuda so hard they might as well upload the damn thing to OCRemix (same goes for All Caps’ “Summer of ’09”). Doesn’t make me like the songs any less, and maybe even makes me like them a bit more. Plus, I understand that sometimes this isn’t intentional. Now, I also don’t really believe that these examples contain times where two similar melodies where thought up wholly independent of each other, but we are exposed to massive amount of media, and some things get stuck in the back of our brains even though we don’t even know they’re there, much less where they came from originally, and then they’ll fall out. Plus. you know the old saying about there only being, like, six totally original plots? Same could probably be said for music. ‘Nuff said.


  5. Luna
    Jan 05, 2011 @ 11:30:37

    Wow. Could you be any more rude? You seem to me to be a bit conceited. I couldn’t even read this whole thing. And who are you anyways to be so critical? No one is perfect. Cut them some slack here. I loved the album. It was great.


    • Syrup Tits
      Jan 06, 2011 @ 16:43:29

      You sound new. I’m sure TWS understands that no one is perfect, but it is his/her purpose here to be critical.


    • wrocksnob
      Jan 09, 2011 @ 11:27:25

      I am glad you loved the album. I didn’t. Why does your opinion matter more than mine or get more credence? Both of our opinions are perfectly valid, I just decided to make my opinions into a blog.


    • Arodhwen
      Jan 09, 2011 @ 17:19:57

      Just want to point out that you’re asking someone who chose “snob” as part of their name if they could be more conceited.

      I had the same reaction the first time I read a WSnob article. I saw criticism of a wrock band and thought “How absolutely atrocious. I must defend to the DEATH.” But if you take the chance to get to know the snob and don’t attack the snob for not liking a wrock band/song/album, you’ll notice some interesting discussion is often stirred in the comments.

      Also, how can anyone expect to grow if the only feedback they ever receive is “AHOMGILOVEYOUGUYS”? Seriously. MoM fans are scary. I would occasionally like to hear the band over their fans screaming lyrics.


  6. Russ
    Jan 05, 2011 @ 12:47:47

    Yes, sometimes melodies/chord progressions are repeated, that’s a given, and one thing. Stating a band is knowingly ripping off a well-known band for their own gain, however, is something completely different.

    Good gravy, I’m defending MoM. This must be the Introduction to the Opposites.


    • wrocksnob
      Jan 05, 2011 @ 19:27:07

      Dude, did you not read my reply to your comment, or to Voldemark’s? I said, like three times, that I was not holding it against them or anything or trying to impugn their character – thus, I definitely wasn’t saying they were ripping someone off for their own gain. Plus, I did say that in all the cases cited, including this one, maybe it isn’t intentional, but it’s still interesting to point out.


  7. Whompy
    Jan 05, 2011 @ 13:01:34

    This all reminds me of that episode of Full House where Uncle Jessie is experiencing writer’s block.


  8. Whompy
    Jan 05, 2011 @ 13:37:16

    Seriously though, it’s clear that KD was making a joke here and not actually accusing anyone of plagiarism. Peeps need to chillax.


  9. Voldemark
    Jan 05, 2011 @ 15:52:07

    Thanks so much for clearing that up! I can, on ocasion, be a bit obtuse. Maybe my developing a sense of humor would help, eh? Ha! 🙂
    Happy writing sir 🙂


    • wrocksnob
      Jan 05, 2011 @ 19:28:49

      Hey, it’s fine. Thanks for being so understanding, and I can totally see how you took away what you did – I definitely didn’t phrase as well as I could have.


      • Voldemark
        Jan 05, 2011 @ 22:00:57

        Not a problem! 🙂 I’ve been missunderstood a few times myself, and I can only hope that I’ve got the humility to recognize when I too have missread some things! The minute this thing becomes about self aggrandizement instead of self giving love it betrays it’s foundation, mocks it’s own story, and effectively cuts itself off at the knees. Like I said; I have technical/experiental disagreements with you, but I’ll fight for your right to say what you want, and want with you to advocate for understanding. Maybe the boy who lived IS dead, but the message of knowing what’s worth fighting for when nothing is built to last lives on (insert now knowing wink here). Cheers man!! 🙂


  10. WRocker
    Jan 06, 2011 @ 05:23:15

    Am I the only who doesn’t hear the Harry Potter is Dead and 21 Guns similarities?


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