Top 10 Worst Things About LeakyCon

So, remember that time I didn’t go to Infinitus, yet I bitched about it anyway? This is like that, except I actually attended THIS con (ostensibly)!

So, long story short, this was the most incredibly disappointing week of my life. Short story long? The rest of this article.

10. The Movie Kind Of Blew

While, yes, I did choose to come to LeakyCon because of all the panels and wizard rock and friends (hah! I don’t have any friends! Emotions are for the weak!), a big reason was because I wanted to share this final midnight release with shit-tons of Harry Potter fans, having celebrated every other release (books and movies) in my home town on the Moon.  The movie was really kind of the “jewel”, the centerpiece, if you will, of the whole week, and unfortunately, it really kind of blew.  A short (hah!) list of reasons why follows:

  • While there were some super solid performances from the obvious people (Rickman, Radcliffe, Maggie Fucking Smith, etc.), Ralph Fiennes kind of hammed it up the wing-wong.
  • Decisions they’d made in the past to cut certain story elements came back to bite them, and instead of just continuing the movie-canon, they tried (and failed) to quickly fit in exposition dumps that, due to the lack of emotional build-up, had no weight with the audience (i.e. Ariana).
  • For some reason, they revamped the ghosts, and the Grey Lady looked a lot more fake than the ghosts did in effing Movie 1! That whole scene just didn’t work at all.
  • WHY THE BOATHOUSE? ONLY PEOPLE WHO HAVE PLAYED THE VIDEO GAMES KNEW WHERE SNAPE’S DEATH SCENE WAS EVEN TAKING PLACE!
  • Some general pacing things here and there.
  • But really, for the most part, it was a pretty good movie, until THE LAST 20-30 MINUTES.
  • There, they fucked EVERYTHING up.  I mean, I will give them credit – I was actually very nervous and filled with tension and on the edge of my seat, which is an impressive feat seeing as how I’ve read the books 20 million times.  However, I was filled with tension because I actually couldn’t tell if they were going to let FUCKING NEVILLE kill the FUCKING SNAKE, which was his FUCKING BIG DAMN HERO MOMENT.
  • Plus, the Harry/Voldemort duel. Oh, the Harry/Voldemort duel.  Where do I even begin?  I just won’t and say it sucked. I get pumping things up and making them work better for a visual medium like a movie, but this seriously went way overboard.
  • But the biggest, most damning problem, was the final final duel – THEY HAD NONE OF THE DIALOGUE. NONE (approximately)!! And really, that would be fine if they JUST had the “Try for some remorse line”, which is one of the two most important character moments for Harry in the ENTIRE SERIES (the other being Harry choosing Gryffindor over Slytherin in Book 1), but nope, no revealing or powerful character moments, NO FINAL CHOICE FOR VOLDEMORT, just a big brawl with fancy lights shooting around. Hoo-fucking-ray.
  • Plus, Harry does NOT call Voldemort “Tom”! He calls him RIDDLE. THIS IS NOT THAT HARD TO GET, PEOPLE. I mean, who do you think you are, Warner Bros., Alex Carpenter?
  • AND worst of all, NOBODY SAW THE DUEL. No one was there! And Voldemort just kind of randomly turned into ash, which was a kind of cool effect and all, but… Why?  I mean, this opens up a whole set of quandaries – NOBODY saw Harry kill Voldemort, and then VOLDEMORT’S BODY TURNED INTO ASH.  Now there can be NO Habeas Corpus! And, let me re-iterate this – NO ONE SAW THIS HAPPEN! For all they know, Voldemort killed Harry and then assumed HIS shape, using, I dunno, Polyjuice or something.  I’m just saying, everyone seems to take Harry’s word for granted a little to easily for something as big as this, especially given people’s reactions when he said he didn’t enter a contest. By comparison, you think they’d treat his claim of SAVING THE WORLD with at least the same level of skepticism.
  • Plus, Harry snapped the Elder Wand at the end. BEFORE FIXING HIS OWN WAND. So, what, did Harry never use magic again? Did he just continue using Malfoy’s wand? HOW DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE?
  • And lastly, based on how much the characters interacted, and how close they were to each other, in the Epilogue, Harry and Hermione were apparently married. I would normally complain about this, but I’m just going to mark it off as Steve Kloves’ Final Revenge.

Suffice it to say, I didn’t like it, and all of the above reasons for me not liking it can be directly attributed to the LeakyCon staff.  For shame, guys.

9. I Didn’t Attend Any Panels

When you attend a con for the first time, you go in expecting that you’ll be going to tons of panels, and you’ll have lots of time to do everything you want to. WRONG.  Unfortunately, Leaky had cool stuff going on almost all the time, everywhere, and they didn’t even think to provide us with complementary Time Turners!  I mean, that’s just basic hosting etiquette right there.

8.  The Pottermore Preview

Speaking of not attending any panels, I attended the Pottermore Preview Panel, or PPP for sho… no, wait, that’s something else.  And while on the whole, it was pretty aight, there were some rather distressing elements – most significantly, the panel had an absurdly strong emphasis on Hufflepuff house… as in they mentioned its existence. MORE THAN ONCE!  I, for one, was disgusted, and left immediately.  I would encourage LeakyCon to screen their presenters more carefully next time.

7. Everything Was Far Too Timely

Seriously, not enough things were running late, which is one of the biggest mistakes you can make when running a con – things running late is ESSENTIAL to the con-goer, allowing them to fully participate in panels and events that, on the printed schedule, seem to conflict.  But no, every time I tried to engage in this con ritual, (almost) EVERYTHING WAS RUNNING ON TIME.  This was very stressful, and it hindered my enjoyment of the con to no end.

6. I Wasn’t Allowed Into LC2011

That is, LineCon 2011.  This was by far the biggest turn-out to a Line Convention I’d seen in years, but was I allowed into it, giving me the chance to share my for Lines (and the overall Line Fandom) with other Line enthusiasts like me? NO! Instead, my registration went smoothly and without any hiccups, and thus, I was not allowed into LineCon.  True, some people did offer to let me take their place in LineCon, on the condition they could have their place back once LineCon was about to end for them, but I graciously refused.  If I was going to attend the Line Convention of my life, I was going to attend it legitimately.  I may be a Snob, but I’ll be damned if I don’t have principles.

5. No Free Spleen Surgery

This one really could be higher up on my list, because it truly was a huge disappointment to me.  Ever since my spleen gained sentience (it all had to do with this terrible botched operation – I mean, what kind of doctor uses a freakin’ SCREWDRIVER? He had a nice bowtie though), it’s been causing me no end of pain (metaphorical pain that is – it won’t shut up!).  So, I’ve long been wanting to replace my current spleen with a different, more normal one, but you wouldn’t believe the insurance premiums that this kind of surgery entails.  So, I was massively, heart-breakingly disappointed when it turned out that Leaky would not, in fact, comp my spleen surgery.  I mean, after all, Starkid got everything they wanted for free, so why not me?  But speaking of which, this brings me to my next grievance:

4. Starkid Fans

They were not nearly as annoying as I thought they would be.  Reports from Infinicon indicated that Starkid fans (and to a lesser extent wizard rock fans) were really annoying, were only really there for just that one thing and not the con or Harry Potter in general, and just overall detracted from the con experience.  Naturally, I was looking forward to a repeat occurrence of this, since it would allow me countless hours of enjoyment, making fun of people, and being irate.  So you can imagine my disappointment when, on the whole, Starkid fans as a general group were well-mannered, genuinely excited about not just Starkid, but the con and Harry Potter in general, and able to carry on a conversation about something besides Darren Criss’ well-documented fondness for grapes (seedless, natch).  So, in otherwords, they were a massive disappointment.  A word of advice to both LeakyCon and Starkid: Get more annoying fans next time, plx. Love, The Wrock Snob.

3. The Hotel Staff

In the same vein, I had heard some horror stories last year about staff at the Royal Pacific hotel being, well, assholes, and enacting in behavior that was borderline abusive – shouting at guests, et cetera, et cetera.  However, in all of my dealings with the Royal Pacific staff, they extremely cordial, very polite, and supremely helpful, often going above and beyond what was needed of them, and really making me, as both an individual, and as part of the greater Harry Potter Fan Community that had descended upon their hotel, welcomed and appreciated.  Naturally, this disgusted me to no end, for it robbed me of another thing to get good and angry about on Twitter.  Sigh.

2. I Missed A Lot Of Wizard Rock

So, I’m not going to rehash how Leaky had a pretty damn good lineup, and just how many bands (great bands at that!) were playing, but suffice it to say that there were A LOT, including personal favorites like MC Kreacher or bands I haven’t been able to see live yet, like Draco and the Malfoys (haven’t seen the full band, that is, though Brian did MELT FACES just by himself and with a fucking ACOUSTIC at WS4… man, that was great…).  And do you wanna know what bands I ended up actually seeing?

  • Ministry of Magic
  • The Remus Lupins
  • Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls (for his second Final Show in a series of nine!)
  • The Whomping Willows
  • Harry and the Potters

Okay, just look over that list for a minute.  Then think about who I am, and what I (supposedly) represent.  Then look at that list again.  If your reaction isn’t

or

or maybe

or even

then you obviously haven’t been reading this site long enough.

I mean, I’m the fucking Wrock SNOB!! And I only managed to hit the five most popular bands? Really, me, really? I’m disgusted with myself.  Yes, I did manage to see the Blibs’ Common Room set, and part of Seen and Unforeseen’s set that followed, but really, for the most part, I was unacceptably lax in my duties as Resident Snob.  And this is all the fault of LeakyCon’s staff. No, I’m not going to come up with a “clever” explanation why, I spent all my energy allocated to this bullet point cropping Yotsuba pictures.

And now, the absolute worst thing about LeakyCon is…

1. I DIDN’T GET A SNITCHWICH

Let me rephrase that again: I. DIDN’T GET. A MOTHERFUCKING. SNITCHWICH.  Moreover, I didn’t even hear about them until after LeakyCon!  I mean, this is reportedly the most delicious snack in all of wizardom, and NO ONE THOUGHT TO TELL ME?  I am appalled. This is seriously one of, if not the greatest injustice in all of recorded history.  Soon, History classes will be adorned with informative posters like the following:

Hopefully, at the next Harry Potter convention I attend, Snitchwich’s will be complementary for all people who registered on the Wrock Snob Track, i.e. me.

So, there you have it – the absolute worst things about the ginormous clusterfuck that was LeakyCon.

Man, I’m glad I went.  Wrock Snob out.

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20 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Brett H (@SlySound)
    Oct 23, 2011 @ 16:41:19

    I never considered the idea that Harry couldn’t prove Voldemort was dead in the film since no one saw him and there isn’t a body. Though I think the lack of evil stuff going down would eventually be proof enough.

    Reply

  2. Lena Gabrielle (@lenagabrielle)
    Oct 23, 2011 @ 22:13:00

    Agreed on pretty much every movie statement… except perhaps the ghost one. I really like how they did ghosts (though the grey lady scene did seem a little jilted.) Also, you didn’t mention the AMAZING SCORE!

    Starkid fans here were definitely NOT as annoying as Infinitus (maybe that’s because I was barely ever in any rooms besides like 2 at LC…) Sorry to disappoint.

    Sorry you didn’t go to any panels. The Pottermore one was the first one I’ve been to since Prophecy in 2007… but I’m me, and I’m busy… Speaking of Pottermore, Hufflepuff Pride!!!!!

    Lena out.

    Reply

  3. Melissa Anelli
    Oct 24, 2011 @ 03:45:46

    LOL Snobby. You’re my favorite. – M

    Reply

  4. Clare
    Oct 24, 2011 @ 04:44:48

    Hahahaha!! I agree with the stuff you said about the movie.

    Reply

  5. EJ (@sharkie59)
    Oct 24, 2011 @ 08:40:24

    HAHAHAH Darren Criss’s well documented fondness for grapes! YES!

    Reply

  6. Scott Humdinger
    Oct 24, 2011 @ 09:57:18

    I agree with you very strongly on one point you made about the movie – the fight between Harry and the Dark Lord should have been in front of others.

    As for Starkid fans – they themselves were not a problem – however their sheer numbers were. The constant line at their merch booth made it difficult for other people to shop with the vendors around them. Also, I almost didn’t make it in to see Warlock’s Hairy Heart because of my lack of a Starkid ticket. However, I condfunded the auror at the door and went in anyway. I wasn’t staying for SK, so I didn’t feel bad about it.

    And we’re now “the Blibs?” That sounds like an LA street gang…

    Reply

    • wrocksnob
      Oct 24, 2011 @ 10:10:59

      Hmmmm, good point about the sheer numbers of them. I can totally see that for vendors, and I did experience myself, and almost brought that up. Also, nice wandwork, mate. And yes, yes you are.

      Reply

  7. David K
    Oct 24, 2011 @ 10:44:07

    Yeah, the movie… Or, more to the point, Kloves’ fucking script. I was also worried Neville wouldn’t end up killing Nagini (I just knew Kloves was going to hand THAT to SuperHermione, too…), but at least he GOT his hero moment? My beloved Luna? Hosed again. No taking out Alecto Carrow. No leading the rescue of the Trio from Dementors. Nada. Just one rage-y remark to Harry to “illustrate” Luna’s strength and backbone. Evy must have been gutted when she first read her script.

    Fuck you Steve Kloves…fuck you very much.

    Reply

    • wrocksnob
      Oct 24, 2011 @ 11:35:54

      Yeah I was so looking forward to her moment in the Dementor scene, but… nope. Though, I gotta say, I did love the Neville/Luna moments, even though they might not be canon. #ShipperAtHeart But yeah, I mean, fucking SEAMUS got more Big Damn Hero moments than Luna! SEAMUS!

      Reply

      • David K
        Oct 24, 2011 @ 15:29:48

        I saw it downtown, at Pioneer Square. Decided to walk home (I live near 23rd and Burnside) instead of taking the MAX because I figured I needed to walk off the rage. Didn’t work, so I wandered around for a couple more hours in Washington Park, glaring at hobos. That helped, but made me feel guilty. Had to resort to my “WWLLD?” mantra…

        Reply

  8. daniel
    Oct 24, 2011 @ 17:10:43

    I also agree with the movie points. WHY DIDN’T HE FIX HIS FUCKING WAND. But also Fucking Teddy Lupin. I mean, he was cast and everything. Not to mention that we never found out what Remus and Tonks’s ‘big news’ was. I mean, they could have had one or the other. And the Grindelwald part where we just ‘Yeah, I’ll tell you where the wand is heheheh’ was shit. And those were my major complaints.

    And I didn’t get to go to LeakyCon, but it sounded AWFUL.

    Reply

  9. Elizabeth
    Nov 01, 2011 @ 17:22:55

    I never thought about Harry not being able to prove that Voldemort was dead. It irritates me though that they have Voldemort turn into ash and just disappear because it was a major symbolic point in the book that in the end Voldemort is just this corpse in the broom closet, and everything he did was useless.

    Also, I just pretend that Harry fixed his old wand before he destroyed the Elder Wand in the movie.

    Reply

  10. wrocknquidditch
    Jan 31, 2012 @ 10:40:00

    My major disappointment with LC11 was simply that I didn’t get to go to anything I planned to go to. A lot of time was spent trying to get registration bumps smoothed out, and then some of the bigger events were placed in the middle of the day, so if you were going to the actor panel with Evanna and Scarlett and Chris and the kids, you were stuck for HOURS waiting in line for that, even if you had purchased a ticket for it, instead of being able to go to panels because they were only doing autograph signings for a limited amount of time that was not sufficient for everyone who purchased a ticket. I mean, I was REALLY close to the front of that line and we were still outside the door to the autograph room by the time they shut it down…after having spent my whole day waiting and an hour or more in a holding room. Which, granted, that was a choice that I made…but one would hope that after dedicating almost an entire day (and missing things like the Blibs’ sets in the common room which would have been more fun) to standing around for something, one would at least be in the door. PLUS, that event was running behind, but the actors were scheduled for a certain block of time, not a specific number of hours…so there was no room for the delay.

    So I might have scheduled some things differently for sure. Maybe have big line things first in the morning…so people can line up early, or whatever, and still not miss everything else. Yeah, people don’t want to get up early, whatever…don’t pretend like we’ve all never been up before dawn camping out for HP things.

    It was my biggest disappointment to spend $200 on a registration and have spent the whole time waiting around and not getting into things, when I have spent much less money on cons in the past and walked out feeling like I got my money’s worth.

    So, when approaching registration to Leaky this year, I’ve been completely hesitant to purchase because I AM unsure that another $200+room+travel+expenses will be worth it if LC turns out like it was last year (when I can spend the same on travel and LESS on registration to go to SDCC or something). I’m completely willing to give Leaky another shot, but I’d personally like some reassurance about scheduling and such. It’s a lot of money to just throw out there on a maybe. You know?

    Though there were some very high points as well, and I think LeakyCon had the best of intentions and an incredible potential to be the most fun ever…that just wasn’t the majority of experience.

    Reply

    • wrocknquidditch
      Jan 31, 2012 @ 10:43:24

      *majority of MY experience.

      I typo’d all over this bitch. Sorry. xD

      Reply

    • wrocksnob
      Jan 31, 2012 @ 23:36:47

      Pro-tip: don’t go to super fancy meet and greets and stuff life that just to shake Chris Rankin’s hand or something, when you can just STALK him. Duuuuhhhhhh. Also, there’s also Ascendio this year. And hopefully after that we don’t have to have any more cons in Florida ever again? Okay?

      Reply

  11. Trackback: And Then I Died vs. And Then I Died | The Wrock Snob
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  14. Phyllis
    Dec 05, 2013 @ 14:25:01

    Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads
    up. The words in your article seem to be running off
    the screen in Internet explorer. I’m not sure if this is
    a format issue or something to do with browser compatibility but I
    figured I’d post to let you know. The style and design look great though!
    Hope you get the issue solved soon. Cheers

    Reply

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