Panels Wot I Will Do At The Convention That Needs Proper Caulking

Heya! So, today was the deadline for submitting descriptions for LeakyCon panels that had been approved, and in true Wrock Snob fashion, I submitted them both with less than 12 hours remaining! Man, I am good at things. So, I thought it would be fun to post the descriptions I submitted, mostly because the one for the wizard rock panel is intensely self-indulgent and it makes me laugh. Also, I should say that these were what I submitted, and have not yet been approved, so don’t be shocked if either of these are different (i.e. more competent and, like, actually informative) when in the actual printed program.

 

Neither Witch Nor Wizard: A Trans and Non-Binary Meetup

Whether you fit in the binary or not, this is a casual meetup for all magical folk who who identify differently than their assigned gender. We’ll hang out, talk about our con plans, compare rad outfits, discuss the venue’s bathroom options, and begin preparation for Stage 3 in our world domination plans. All you need to bring are your pronouns and a smile! …And clothes. And your LeakyCon pass. Maybe a snack?

 

The Worst Thing To Happen To The Harry Potter Fandom: A Wizard Rock Panel

Did the above title make you angry? Attend this panel. Did it intrigue you? Attend this panel. Did it make you feel validated? Attend this panel. Did it make you feel hungry? Go get a snack – then attend this panel. Maybe a nice salad with a protein of some sort – perhaps chicken, or nicely seasoned tofu?

The Wrock Snob moderates a no-holds-barred discussion of wizard rock’s triumphs and failures, featuring Bradley Mehlenbacher and Lauren Fairweather.

 

 

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Why We Fight

[Trigger Warning: This post discusses statutory rape, manipulative relationships, dubious consent and non-consensual sex, and an incredibly unequal male-female power dynamic. If you feel the following discussion of this topic may trigger you, please don’t read this article – my rambling is not worth it. I’d also like to take this time and warn that there may be some cis-normativity in this article – while it is of course true that not every man has a penis, the ones I will be discussing today do, though if I had my way, that would not be true any longer. Lastly, I will be using female terms to describe the demographic pool of victims, even though I would not be at all surprised if there are people out there who were affected by these situations that no longer identify as female. This is for ease of this particular discussion, and I hope all my non-binary readers and friends out there will forgive this instance.]

A little over a week ago, it was revealed that a pillar of the wizard rock community, Alex Carpenter (founding member and frontman for The Remus Lupins) was not just, as I had long suspected, an insecure douchebag, but one that manipulated multiple underage girls into relationships and statutory rape with him, as well as relationships with of-age women that were just as manipulative and even less consenting, to a horrifying degree. Then, it came out a couple days later that Luke Conard, one of the two most popular and visible members of Ministry of Magic, was also incredibly manipulative in his relationships with wrock and youtube celebrities, and while he did not technically break the law in the same way Alex did, he is now yet another example of a male internet celebrity using his fame among much younger females to manipulate multiple people into what can only be termed emotionally abusive relationships. Oh, and he also kept all of the money from the first All Caps album, a joint band between him and Kristina of The Parselmouths. So yeah, class act.

While I pretty much immediately reacted on twitter, I’ve waited to write an “official” post about the matter, because it has taken this long for my feelings about this situation to settle down to a level where I can coherently write about it without every other word being “stab”. Honestly, I’m not even sure if I’ll ever not feel that way, but my friendly therapist named Hannibal suggested that I channel my anger and emotions into writing or something else constructive, instead of just bottling it in. Speaking of which, I will do my best to keep this brief, seeing as he’s invited to have me for dinner in a couple hours.

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Jingle Spells 5 – A Retrospective

This is not a review. No really, references to Magritte aside, this article is not a review, because this article can’t be a review. Jingle Spells 5 is in my opinion one of the best wizard rock charity comps of all time, coming close to the near-perfection of Siriusly Smiling and Jingle Spells 2, and it contains by far the best ratio of amazing songs to unkown artists in the entire damn genre. Any wizard rock fan would be proud to own a copy of this album that would proudly wear the moniker “classic”, if not for the fact that it was, in many ways, a capstone to the entire genre itself, and a highly fitting one at that.

However, I cannot classify my opinions of this remarkable album as a review, because I was heavily involved in its creation, and while I truly believe that this is an excellent disc, and those words I daresay carry more weight than usual, because every song on this album was one that I personally gave the okay to, I still understand the apparent favoritism that would be involved. Unfortunately, Jingle Spells 5 never seemed to get the love it truly deserved, and it is my intention to rectify that. So, please allow me this departure from my usual method of reviews, in which I pull back the curtain and give you a look into not just the songs themselves, but the thought process that went into selecting them. If you are lucky enough to have a copy of JS5, then I recommend you listen to it as you read along. If you don’t have JS5, however, we’ll get into that at the end of this article.

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A Brief Respite

Yes, it is my solemn duty to announce an extremely definite hiatus. I am currently at a point where I actually have the time, but I have neither the motivation nor the spirit to do Wrock Snob for a bit. I’ve always hated it when musicians phone in and make their art without passion, and I have promised myself to never do that. I would rather be able to continue my fairly respectable pace of updates, but even more than that, I don’t want to subject you to subpar content. Not that my par is all that amazing, but…

I will continue doing Snobby Sundays, partly because I made a promise and I stick by those, and partly because if I can’t scrape together the motivation to write one lousy article every two weeks then what the hell kind of writer am I? I do plan to be back soon, and I’m nowhere close to quitting the WS, but I’m just gonna make it official and take the next few weeks off.

Stay tuned to my twitter account for the occasional snarky tweet.

JOIN THE WROCK SNOB ARMADA!

Good morning. Good morning. In less than a month or so, readers from here will join others from around the world, and you will be launching the largest salvaging operation in the history of wizard rock. Wizard rock, that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences any more. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the 13th of August, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom. Not from drama, the Acid Quill, or the lack of new music, but from annihilation. We’re fighting for our genre’s right to live, to exist and should we win the day, the 13th of August will no longer be known as a possible Friday the 13th, but as the day when the fandom declared in one voice, ‘We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on, we’re going to survive!Today we celebrate our independence day!

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The Rebirth

BAM, MOTHERFUCKERS

Friends, wrockers, foreigners – lend me your ears. I come to raise the Wrock Snob, not to bury it. The reviews that critics write live after them – the snark is oft interred within their blogs. So let it be with Wrock Snob.

So yes, today, on its 1111th day anniversary, I’m officially rebooting the Wrock Snob! Now, yes, I did announce my official retirement from the scene, but I did it… on April 1st. Seriously guys, I can’t believe you actually trusted me on that one! Well, besides the fact that I hadn’t published a new article in about 8 months.

But still. Not cool, guys.

Anyways, this is just an official announcement to let you know that I am completely restarting things here. I have an extensive backlog of articles finished and am writing more every day, and have some exciting new features and directions lined up. I am also going to start once again on a rather brisk update schedule: 2-3 articles every week. I’m not going to tie myself down and say a particular type of article on a specific day, but each week there will be two or three articles, maybe even more.

This will all actually begin next week, but on Sunday I will be unveiling something rather exciting (for me, at least)! I would like to thank anyone who has ever been a part of the Wrock Snob, and I hope you will rejoin me once again as we prove that wrock ain’t dead yet!

More rambly details after the jump.

 

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Announcement: Hiatus v2.0

As you may have noticed, updates here on the Wrock Snob over the past few months have been highly sporadic, and devoid of any real content even when they do appear.  So, I decided to just bite the bullet and officially announce my indefinite hiatus.  We had a fun ride here on the Wrock Snob, and I’m proud that it was one of the longer, if not the longest run of a non-‘pedia wrock fansite.  I’m also proud to have offered a place for people to discuss wizard rock, and I still firmly thing that the best thing about this site are the comment boards, were some really interesting and insightful things happened.

So, before I sign off for the last time in at least a couple of whiles, let me extend a sincere thanks to each and every one of you.  THANK YOU for making the Wrock Snob a success.  To those who have supported me since the beginning, I am eternally grateful to you. To those who hated the idea of me but gave me a chance and decided I wasn’t quite so bad after all, welcome to the snark side. Here’s your promised cookie.  To those who critically engaged and debated with me, thank you very, very much for an elucidating, thought-provoking time – thanks for keeping me on my toes.  To those whom I reviewed positively, thank you for making awesome music – keep it up.  To those whom I reviewed negatively (almost all of you, anyway), I will always admire your grace and incredible classiness – you make this particular asshole hope to be like you someday.  To those that disagreed with me, even with this site’s very existence and purpose, and expressed your thoughts civilly, I sincerely thank you.  I wish this country (America), and the whole world was as capable of civil discourse as you are.  To those that disagreed with me and did nothing but make ad hominim attacks and give no points besides repeatedly stating that I am an asshole (something I’ve never denied) – thanks for the laughs!  To the spambots – I SHALL NEVER FORGET YOU.

And lastly, no matter what category above you fell into, if any, THANK YOU for checking out my humble little site, giving it a try, and commenting, or voting in a poll, or whatever.  Thank you for brightening my life while I darkened everyone else’s.  I’m like a sadistic Batman or something. Except I don’t call people retards.  Whatevs.  Anyways, thanks for the fun ride, have a nice life, and peace out, yo.

OH RIGHT! Blimey, I knew I’d forgotten something.  Indefinite hiatus does not mean the Wrock Snob will never again resume regular updates, or updates at all – you, and for that matter I, never know.  Still, don’t hold your breath.  Unless you’re underwater.  Or in space.  In which case, if you have to be holding your breath, and you’re in space, you have much bigger problems to worry about.  Anyway, one last time, thanks for the ride, and catch you on the flip side!

Wrock Snob out.

Announcement: Well, Shit

So, if you didn’t catch the tweet, I’m being taken to collections by the IRS, and as such, I just will no longer have time in my life to focus on the Wrock Snob.  So, as sad as this makes me, I’m officially canceling Snobmas, and putting the Wrock Snob on very definite hiatus.  I can’t tell you when I’m coming back, but I can tell you that it WILL happen.  But the Wrock Snob, and more over, Snobmas, is just an added bit of stress (but stress that I love and am very proud of) that I really don’t need in my life right now.  If for some reason you have a burning need to hear my opinion about something (like the new MoM album?) – shoot me a DM on twitter or an email – wrocksnob@gmail.com

Okay okay, the real reason why I’m taking an hiatus is because of The Wrock Snob Resistance movement, which is working in tandem with The Wrock Snob Opera – you see, they’ve found my underground moon base on the moon, and I’ve had to relocate – but space travel always takes awhile, and there’s no wifi in space, so…  See you guys planet-side, in while.  Wrock Snob, over and out.

Oh, and because I’m feeling sappy and emotional – just in case something happens and this is the last Wrock Snob post ever, I’d like to thank you all for an… interesting ride.  I’d especially like to thank everyone who commented with support, but more over, everyone who helped participate in a discussion, no matter what your opinions were.  I think some very interesting discussions were generated in the comments boards of some of these posts, and despite all my pessimism about the future of wrock, I’ve got to admit I’ve had more fun in the past few months than I have had in a long time.  So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for that.  See you… eventually.  Wrock Snob out.  Again.  Bacon.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Magic Is Might

Hey, so you know how I said I wouldn’t do any more posts that are pretty much just tiny bits of BS that could have been shoehorned in at the beginning or end of any post?  I lied.  I’m announcing that the next few articles will all be about Ministry of Magic’s new album, Magic Is Might.  You see, I simply have too much to say about this album, and in so many different ways, that while I could just make one ginormous article, it’ll flow a lot better if I just do a lot of different ways of looking at the album in separate posts (and it’ll also be easier on my article-a-day schedule).  So, that’s the long and short of it (mostly the short of it) – look for my first post up later this evening!

Before You Ask…

Yes, I know that Ministry of Magic’s new album, Magic Is Might is now up.  Yes, I have purchased and downloaded it.  No, I have not listened to it yet.  Yes, I plan to do so very soon.  Yes, I plan to review it.   No, it will not be the next thing that I review – I have six different drafts in various states of completion saved to WordPress currently, so…  Yes, I am aware that I am currently three articles behind.  Yes, I’m going to say that this counts as an article, making me only two articles behind, just because I’m an ass like that.  Yes, I hope that this is the last time I have to pull something like this.  No, I don’t think it actually will.  Yes…. um, something.  Yes.  Yes yes yes yes yes.  Wrock Snob out.

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