REVIEW: Cheat To Win

So I don’t know if I have officially announced this yet, but I’m working on a mini-project I’m referring to as “The Hit List”. The goal is to write at least one article about each band/artist playing at LeakyCon 2016, before LeakyCon actually happens. Will I make it? Let’s be real, probably not. I mean, it’s only week two of doing three articles a week, and it’s Sunday, and this is my second article this week. A-woops. Anyways, here’s a long-overdue review of Draco and the Malfoys’ Cheat To Win. Oh, and Trigger Warning that there will be some brief discussion of consent and the breaking thereof.

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The 10 Best Songs From The Giant Squidstravaganza Presents: A New Hope: A Tribute to the Giant Squidstravaganza

Because I haven’t sucked off the Giant Squidstravaganza’s… spermataphoric gland… enough.

[Yep, an embedded image and a single dick joke, that’s all I had written originally. I do believe I’d actually worked out the list somewhere tho, lemme see… oh yeah here it is. It doesn’t appear to be in any order besides roughly how they originally appeared on the album in relation to each other. So here we go, but understand that these aren’t necessarily ranked in terms of quality, they’re just my ten favorites from the album.]

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REVIEW: Jingle Spells 4

 

 

 

[Thank you for visiting The Wrock Snob and reading this article! I’d love for you to jump right into the reviewy goodness, but first there is some unfortunate business to take care of. It is not in my nature to tell you specifically what or what not to buy and who to support – I tell you what I thought about an album, and if my tastes seem to align with yours, you might want to heed my suggestions. However, I must take this time to personally exhort that you do not monetarily support the bands The Remus Lupins or Ministry of Magic. The full reasons are unsettling and possibly triggering, so please proceed with caution, but if you want the full details click here. Simply put, it has been revealed that certain member/s of both bands did destructive, upsetting, and highly problematic things. While I can see the value of reviewing art no matter what the artist did on a grand society-level scale, I cannot morally allow myself to condone the financial support of these monsters, nonetheless exhorting people to do so. Now it is entirely possible this copypasta’d retroactive warning was placed on a negative review, making this sidebar somewhat moot, but I still feel it necessary to make these matters clear. Again, for full details and rumination click here, otherwise, please enjoy the article.]

Here it is, for reals this time!

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REVIEW: The Long Awaited Review of A Certain Wizard Rock Christmas Compilation Album

This review has been a long time coming.  A VERY long time coming.  I’ve had my copy for about a month now, maybe longer, and while I’d already listened to it, and had tons of thoughts all lined up in my head, something happened.  WROCKSTOCK HAPPENED. And I’ve been barely keeping on top of that, so any planned album reviews were thrown by the wayside.  But now that it’s apparently officially the Christmas season (even though for me that doesn’t begin until December 1st…), it seems that I cannot push the inevitable back any more.  Don’t worry, we still have the last dregs of Wrockstock to talk about, and those will be resuming after this.  Think of this article as a holiday special interrupting your usual Jeopardy schedule.  And now, without any further ado, my review of a certain holiday-themed wizard rock compilation album.

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The Top 12 Wizard Rock EPs

[Thank you for visiting The Wrock Snob and reading this article! I’d love for you to jump right into the reviewy goodness, but first there is some unfortunate business to take care of. It is not in my nature to tell you specifically what or what not to buy and who to support – I tell you what I thought about an album, and if my tastes seem to align with yours, you might want to heed my suggestions. However, I must take this time to personally exhort that you do not monetarily support the bands The Remus Lupins or Ministry of Magic. The full reasons are unsettling and possibly triggering, so please proceed with caution, but if you want the full details click here. Simply put, it has been revealed that certain member/s of both bands did destructive, upsetting, and highly problematic things. While I can see the value of reviewing art no matter what the artist did on a grand society-level scale, I cannot morally allow myself to condone the financial support of these monsters, nonetheless exhorting people to do so. Now it is entirely possible this copypasta’d retroactive warning was placed on a negative review, making this sidebar somewhat moot, but I still feel it necessary to make these matters clear. Again, for full details and rumination click here, otherwise, please enjoy the article.]

Remember List Week?  And how failtacular it was?  Yeah, I’m bringing it back, but putting it on a MWF schedule, and then back to your regularly scheduled Wrock Snob next week.  [NOTE: The preceding sentence was written on Sunday, when I thought I would finish the article the same day.  We’re just gonna play this week by ear.  Will be at least three updates this week, but maybe more of a WFS thing.  We’ll see.]{NEW NOTE: Just think of this as a Friday-only update week, possibly something on the weekend, I promise, full deck next week.}  So, to kick things back into high gear, I am going to do a retrospective of one of the coolest things to ever come out of wrock, The Wizard Rock EP Of The Month Club.  Catchily-named, it was not, but it was positively dripping in awesome, and ran for three excellent years.  A total of 36 EPs (not counting special bonuses like the Mermaids Above Water EP) from various artists were distributed to hundreds of people around the world, gained exposure for many bands, and actually for a fair amount of bands acted as their first release, and in a handful of cases, only release.

So, to celebrate this great idea, I am going to compile a list of what the “perfect year” would be – think of it like fantasy football, but for music clubs.  And now, without further ado, the Top Twelve Wizard Rock EP of the Month EPs!

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My 25 Most Listened To Wizard Rock Songs

[Thank you for visiting The Wrock Snob and reading this article! I’d love for you to jump right into the reviewy goodness, but first there is some unfortunate business to take care of. It is not in my nature to tell you specifically what or what not to buy and who to support – I tell you what I thought about an album, and if my tastes seem to align with yours, you might want to heed my suggestions. However, I must take this time to personally exhort that you do not monetarily support the bands The Remus Lupins or Ministry of Magic. The full reasons are unsettling and possibly triggering, so please proceed with caution, but if you want the full details click here. Simply put, it has been revealed that certain member/s of both bands did destructive, upsetting, and highly problematic things. While I can see the value of reviewing art no matter what the artist did on a grand society-level scale, I cannot morally allow myself to condone the financial support of these monsters, nonetheless exhorting people to do so. Now it is entirely possible this copypasta’d retroactive warning was placed on a negative review, making this sidebar somewhat moot, but I still feel it necessary to make these matters clear. Again, for full details and rumination click here, otherwise, please enjoy the article.]

So, here’s how I introduced this site to my muggle meatspace friends:

Me: “So, I became a celebrity.”

Muggle Meatspace Friends: “What?”

Me: “Well, an internet celebrity.”

MMF: “Really?”

Me: “A minor internet celebrity.”

MMF: “Still, how’d you manage that?”

Me: “A minor internet celebrity in the wizard rock community.”

MMF: “Aaaaaahhh.  That explains it.”

Me: “A minor internet celebrity in the wizard rock community that is likely to become a flash in the pan.  I mean, I’ll be so much of a flash in the pan, Apple will not allow me on their handheld devices, because they feel HTML 5 is a much more open format for being inside a pan.”

All this goes to show is that while I like to pretend to be self-deprecating, I’m actually extremely self-centered, which is why, for the second week in a row, one of the posts will be entirely about myself and how awesome I am, inasmuch that a review blog somehow isn’t entirely about oneself.  Anywho, today, I am going to look through my 25 most listened to wizard rock songs (according to iTunes), and discuss each one.  I really didn’t have any concrete idea what they would be until today, when I started writing this article.  This is partly because I want to let people know what sort of wizard rock I actually do like, and partly because while I have other ideas for Friday articles, they take more forethought and planning, and I hope to spend most of today overhauling the site, and watching Battlestar Galactica. [Note: I actually ended up spending the day sleeping and being kidnapped by pirates.]

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