The Top 3 Canon-Condensing Songs

What do I mean by canon-condensing?  I mean a song that condenses all of canon (or canon up till that point of the making of the song), or the titles, or some specific aspect of each book.  There are a few of these out there, and I’d like to take a moment to point out my three favorites.  [The preceding paragraph and a very short list just bulleting for future reference what the three songs are, are the only original components of this rather short list.  I’m just gonna quickly run through what I liked about them, and also do some lyric-dumping.]

All of that, including the stuff in brackets was written years ago at this point. And this whole article was leading up to giving the number one slot to someone I do not discuss any more. And doing a top 2 list is kinda lame, even more lame than a top 3 list. So instead, I’m just gonna say a couple things. The two songs left in the list are “Hogwarts Lullaby” by The Veelas and “Cliff Notes Harry Potter” by Alas Earwax! (also known somewhat confusingly as “Harry Potter Cliff Notes”) and here are some words so I don’t have to deal with ending a sentence with a parenthetical statement after a proper noun that ends with punctuation.

Both songs are very different – one being, well, a lullaby, and the other being a rap from that blessed time in history when a nerdy white boy doing a rap was almost novel. But they also both try to summarize a series comprised of thousands of pages in just a few scant minutes. And this is a cool trick I wish was tackled more. While Alas Earwax!’s song is very explicit in its goals, with the original demo version starting with Mr. Earwax announcing his intentions like Vanilla Ice, The Veelas are a little more subtle. “Hogwarts Lullaby” is styled as a simple bedtime song, but each verse is about beasties that will stay away – in order of book. Starting with trolls, and then basilisks and spiders, and so on. Instead of trying to cram millions of words of plot into a song (which was part of the comedic point of “Cliff Notes Harry Potter”), The Veelas focus on a single theme running throughout the series, and follow it from beginning to end.

While I would also welcome more facetious attempts at summarizing the whole series, I also would really like to see more songs tackle one specific facet of the magical world, and chart its evolution. The Harry Potter series is, if nothing else, a journey, and it’d be cool to see more songs reflect that.

Wrock Snob out.



As you may have surmised by today’s oh-so-clever title, today I will be reviewing three different wizard rock EPs, and let me briefly explain why first.  You see, it may be true that in the realm of wizard rock EPs by little-known bands, there is a lot, and I mean A LOT of chaff… hey, let’s not beat around the bush at all here and just say that there is a lot of shit.  But if you sift around, you will also find a lot of fun and replayable, if short and not exactly deep experiences that can be the frontier of innovation for wrock.  Think of them as the iPhone games to the yearly albums of The Whomping Willows and Ministry of Magic and the likes’ Triple-A console video games.  To put it more simply, they are what Angry Birds and the Cut The Rope are to your Generic Brown Shooters With Numbers Attached To Their Titles. So, I figured in between sessions of railing at Things That People Like, I might really put on my Snob Pyjamas and talk about Things That I Like That No One Has Ever Heard Of.  So, without further ado, my reviews of Crabbe and the Goyles’ Wizcore EP, Mulciber Zerstörer’s Death From Above, and The Veelas’ Hogwarts Lullabies.


REVIEW: Jingle Spells 4




[Thank you for visiting The Wrock Snob and reading this article! I’d love for you to jump right into the reviewy goodness, but first there is some unfortunate business to take care of. It is not in my nature to tell you specifically what or what not to buy and who to support – I tell you what I thought about an album, and if my tastes seem to align with yours, you might want to heed my suggestions. However, I must take this time to personally exhort that you do not monetarily support the bands The Remus Lupins or Ministry of Magic. The full reasons are unsettling and possibly triggering, so please proceed with caution, but if you want the full details click here. Simply put, it has been revealed that certain member/s of both bands did destructive, upsetting, and highly problematic things. While I can see the value of reviewing art no matter what the artist did on a grand society-level scale, I cannot morally allow myself to condone the financial support of these monsters, nonetheless exhorting people to do so. Now it is entirely possible this copypasta’d retroactive warning was placed on a negative review, making this sidebar somewhat moot, but I still feel it necessary to make these matters clear. Again, for full details and rumination click here, otherwise, please enjoy the article.]

Here it is, for reals this time!


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